letter

Dear Jesus,

It's funny to write a letter to you. It's funny all the different things people tell me about you. Julie said I could ask you to show me where in the room you were... And I did it and it seemed like you were near the door. Then I asked you to come and stand near me and I felt like you were standing on the right hand side of me. I've done this a few times since. I guess I'm still not sure if it's my imagination or what. I don't doubt you're here.. But I guess I just don't know enough about you to know if you work that way. Maybe you do for some people because that's what they connect with.

Other people tell me you're absolutely everywhere.. Are you inside my stomach? Inside my skin? Even in my hair?

People talk about the Spirit living within us... That is so mysterious to me. I still don't feel like I know what that means exactly. I wish I could see a picture of my 'spirit'. Does everything have a Spirit? Do I even have a spirit?

Heart, Soul, Mind.. Spirit..

I think you're very mysterious. You confuse me. But I also think you're very good. You've certainly done good things for me. And I've seen you do good things for lots of other people..

I'd like to know you more. Know what makes you tic, what makes you laugh and feel sad and everything. I want to know what you think about me. And I'd like to know what you think of everybody else. Then I want to feel the same way you do about me and about everybody else. I'd like to think like you.

I can say now that I love you. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say it. I used to feel guilty that I didn't feel like I could honestly say it. I fail at loving you practically... But I'm trying and I want to keep trying harder.

Thank you for this mysterious life.

-Hannah