splits and the joy of anticlimax

It's incredible sometimes how things work out.

I don't quite know how to reconcile the head part of me and the emotional, heart part of me. I seem only to have those two modes of function and spend my existence fluctuating between the two of them.

It's funny how they both override and support each other at the same time.. Like siblings who fight like crazy- sometimes they're not talking to each other- but really are always there to help each other out, or spur each other into action, or convince them that its all O.K.

I was never more happy to meet an anticlimax then I was a few Mondays ago..

I really, really, really wanted and needed to know how my vulnerability would be received.. How they would respond to what I had to tell them. I was terrified.. I had always thought I would keep it from them and even from God if I possibly could. But it worked like it does in that poem - 'When the need to have our own 'knowing' is swallowed in being known' - The being known outshone all that I was afraid of.

There is still a long way to go, but that was a good step.