thank

I'm sitting with my back to the fireplace, a warm cup of coffee steaming by my side and fluffy white snow falling silently outside. I am still not used to snow not making a sound as it falls.. It just kind of creeps up while you're asleep and gathers in little clumps on the ground, on the roof tops, on the branches of the trees..

It's funny how some days you can wake up feeling so positive and thankful and other days wake up so grumpy and irritated by everything. I suppose there is a chemical reason for that? I wonder what it is.. I feel positive and thankful today though :) 

This Sunday I head over to London for a week to hangout with my friend Rach! I'm really excited about that. Except for being a bit broke.. But I will have enough for food and I will have a place to stay.. I will have my camera and the company of a friend so it will be great!

Question: Why do animals sometimes act altruistically?

I'm halfway through listening to this Radiolab episode which asks the question: If natural selection is about ensuring your own survival, why do we see some animals sacrificing themselves for others? 

I haven't finished it yet.. It's interesting so far though. Taya and I were listening to it before and she was asking a lot of questions :) It was cool! We were also talking last night about the Big Bang and I was trying to explain why I believed the theory and why I think it doesn't have to mean that the Bible is wrong about where stuff came from. The funny thing about kids though is that they kind of get bored halfway through your explanation and just decide not to worry about it any more. Which was a relief for me because I don't know if I was making any sense.. 

Some photos from this week

Hello!
Here are some photo's from this week past.




We had a spring party on Saturday night with fairy lights and big paper lanterns! The whole idea was inspired by a friend of ours Penny Volkofsky. There were pretty dresses and Sangria and cheesecake and good tunes and Tiki torches and lots of fun people! I did go to bed at like 10:30 though (thank you very much uterus.) but it was still a great party. I think the girls abandoned the party and went to the beach at like.. 2am or something?

Anyway, I'll tell you about the stars.. We made the frames for the stars out of dowl (is that how you spell it? I have no idea..)  and then used these old sewing patterns to kind of paper-mache over the top! I can't really remember whether it was Skye or Jas who found the MASSIVE collection of disposed-of patterns at the side of the road.. But I'm glad we've put them to such good use!

Also - What the HECK is floating in this glass of water?? 



Right now I am procrastinating (can you tell?). I have to give a seminar tomorrow about a design studio called "Big Active". They're pretty interesting, and it's not that I'm scarred of speaking in front of a group of people, it's just that I'm not very good at communicating my ideas and thoughts verbally at the best of times.. I just hope I can say what I want to say without forgetting anything and while making sense.


This photo of me in a pretty floral dress is for the benefit of Nerida Cuddy and Kate Bain.. I wanted to give them evidence of me wearing this dress.. Apparently me putting a picture of myself taken in the mirror in the bathroom on my blog is a hispter thing to do.. But I DON'T CARE! :p (I'm too cool and underground and alternative to worry about things like that)

And finally here is a photo of some of the ladies posing near the fairy lights.. (Spot Emma in the second one.. Hah!)

Rats / EP / Things beyond me

Hello,

Right now I'm thinking about things that are beyond me.

This week my little Rat Polly died. She'd been pretty crook for a while and the Vet said she was is a bit of pain and wasn't going to get any better. The poor little critter has this big tumor and an abyss thing eating away at her back :( The night before I took her to the vet I had her in bed with me, patting and cuddling her till we both fell asleep. I was thinking it was likely the Vet would suggest putting her to sleep. After snuggling with her a little longer I got up, put her to bed and then went to sleep in earnest.

The Vet gave her this injection that made her sleep and then die. It was a sad thing watching my little buddy die. Sad and sort of beautiful because she looked really peaceful. My friends helped me dig a hole in the forest behind our house and build a little grave for her.

I know it might sound silly to some people to go to so much effort for a rat, but she's been a good friend to me the last 2 years. I'm really sad she's gone.

I know it might also sound disloyal to dear Polly to buy another Rat so soon. But that's what I've done. My new little friend Trumpet is helping me while I feel sad about Polly. She's letting me give her lots of hugs and kisses, and she's grooming my hands and sleeping on my shoulder. She sneezes almost constantly. I think I might get her checked out. I've called her Trumpet after the sneezes.

Death and loss are pretty much entirely beyond my ability to control. That's reality. What do I do about it? I can grieve and cry, I can distract myself, I can spend time with good people, I can talk with God. I believe in God.

Tomorrow my friends are helping me record one of the songs for an EP I hope to release some time in the next few months. We are all gonna stand in a room and sing together and record it. I have things planned out and organised. I've pretty much nutted out the song and figured out what harmonies I would like to go where and who would be good to sing what part. I have a nice idea in my mind of what I hope things song can be.

In a week and a bit I'll head down the coast to do some more recording with a guy called Mike. 5 songs in 4 days. Then we'll send it off to be mastered. I've figured out all these songs too. But holy rolly I have no idea how it's going to turn out. I really hope it's good! My brother is helping me pay for it by lending me money, what a champion.

Anyway, so I've just been thinking about how it (life I suppose) feels sometimes like floating on the top of a big wave or looking down a hole or into a long dark tunnel. 

New

O.k it's high time I got off my lazy horse and wrote a post.

It has been approximately one week since I moved to Newcastle.. I just attempted to draw a little picture of my flat in paint but it was excruciating.. and my graphics tablet is being naughty.. So I gave up.

This flat is basically 2 rooms.. One dedicated to the bedroom (it's massive.. so I can chuck some couches in here at some point too) and the other is the kitchen/dining room. There also is a teeny bathroom off that room..

I've got everything I need now pretty much. SO HAPPY to finally have a fridge.

I'm liking it so far :) I have never lived alone before! I'm sure I will get lonely at some point.

Anyway! I've applied for a thouussaannnddd (in a Chris Cuddy voice) jobs in the last week. No luck yet though. Thats alright.

It's O WEEK PEOPLES! APPARENTLY THAT'S EXCITING! I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do in this week or where I am supposed to go...

So.. yep. Bit uninspired as to what else to write.. So I might go. Just a bit brain dead I think.

pies
Hannah

not ready

I'm moving to Newcastle tomorrow.. I'm not ready! I have no energy to write a proper blog about it though.

soon

soon i'll have an ocean
and a field of yellow lights
a thousand other bodies
to sleep near me at night

soon i'll have a family
of strangers on the bus
a shifting house, the resting place
of oil stains and rust

soon i'll have a small room
a place in which to hide
but i'll let some of the others
that I meet there come inside

soon we'll go together
as we have so often done
and you'll show me how the small parts
come together into one

ooo-knee

I got into Uni! Yay!

recorrdding

Yesterday I drove in convoy to the Blue Mountains to do some recording with Chris Gillespie! He has a nice little set up in his house.

It went really well. We arrived very hot and sweaty.. I sat on a chair with my guitar and he adjusted all the microphones around me. We did some sound checks then he told me to just go for it. I was a bit nervous - just hoping my voice would behave itself and I wouldn't make any major stuff ups. The last thing I wanted was to have to do lots of retakes of the same song... The longer I played the sweatier I got (It was crazy!). BUT - We got 5 songs down! All done in one take! Which was great. I did make one or two stuff ups but they're get-away-withable.

The sound was reaaalllyy nice! We went over a couple of them and did harmonies. Chris added some beeaauuttiifull guitar parts over the top of one of them, and is even going to put some double bass to another! Cooool!

Anyway, I just have to wait a while now for Chris to send the master. Exciting :) Thanks for recording me Chris!! Thanks for organising it Kate!!! And generally being VERY kind and encouraging and helping me take risks with my music.

-Hannah

go to bed now

Last night I slept on a camping mat on the kitchen floor. I would like to do a month of sleeping on a mat in an empty room with a wooden floor and one big window and a tree outside who's silhouette I could see through half of the window at night.. That'd be interesting.

My house-sitting days are coming to an end. I will do a big clean of this place tomorrow!

I'm so sleepy. Night

Ode to a Bird

Oh little brown bird! You died too young..
I'm sorry you were caught by the furry black cat! I'm sorry he bit you and made you bleed. I'm sorry he broke your wing. I'm sorry he presented you to me as a gift, dropping you on the cold tiled floor before my feet this afternoon. I'm sorry I couldn't make you better. I'm sorry you were scared and in pain. And I'm sorry I had to chop off your head with a hammer a chisel to end your suffering... Please rest in peace in the backyard.

Yew Nears

Honey Hooded Ratty? Check

Grolsh Beer? check

Gudang Garam? check

Harry Potter and the half blood prince? check

A little furry black cat? check

A less furry ginger cat? check



Happy New Year?
I think so!

I'm a bit crook today so I'm having a quiet night in with the Cats and some movies!
Happy 2009 ending time!
Hannah

ill

I went and watched Avatar in 3d this evening and it made me feel quite ill! Maybe I would be feeling ill anyway - maybe i'm coming down with something - but my stomach it churning! And my head hurts! And my eyes feel all squeezed out like dry sponges. Actually they feel a little like.. You know spotlights? How people stand behind them and move them about manually? I feel like I can feel the little people standing behind my eyes moving them about.

In other news.. I'm in Newcastle! Until tomorrow.

-Hannah

sleeps

There is a very hairy black cat sitting on my lap :) I feel happy about that!
I am listening to 'Noah and the Whale'.. I also feel happy about that!
I've been drinking Lady Grey tea! Hoorah!
There is also a small honey hooded rattie on my shoulder! She's trying to sleep.

I think I might have broken the air cooler though.. It's one of those wheel around air coolers. I wheeled it out here and turned it on and nothing happened. *pulls collar nervously* Eiihh.

On an unrelated note.. Does anyone else ever wake up in the midst of doing something in their sleep? I was very surprised the other night to wake up in the middle of lunging wildy over the side of my bed (to where the ratties cage is) and desperately detaching and yanking the top of the cage up into the bed with me! Why did I do that? I have a vague recollection of feeling like she (the rat) was in danger... But thats about it.

My dreams have been particularly vivid lately.. And people keep saying 'Did you just wake up?' or 'Are you sick?' or 'You look tired!' when they see me.. But i'm sleeping just the same as I normally do!

Weird..

how

Dear Grand-dad,

How does one figure out what to do with ones life? And why does it matter?

-Hannah

8

Today I:
- got bitten on the head by a man with big teeth
- iced an extremely large birthday cake. This included little penguins made out of edible icing!
- swam in the river in my clothes
- swam in the pool in my swimmers
- weeded for 1.5 hours, covering an area of approximately 2 square metres
- clipped my rats toe-nails - until she noticed I was doing it and ran away
- played 'Spaceboy' by The Smashing Pumpkins on my guitar
- Talked briefly with someone about what Jesus being the Son of God actually MEANS. (Any idea's people?)
- made a small speech at a birthday party
- made a large mess on my bedroom floor
- consumed approximately three standard alcoholic drinks
- was chased by horses 8 times
- found out what my body mass index is

In other news, I HAVE 8 ASSIGNMENTS TO GO! Which I am very happy about. I mean, it should be one or two.. But.. all considering I'm pretty happy that it's only 8. I CAN DO IT! Prizes for the person who can invent the best study incentive ever!

How are you?

-Hannah

thumbs for fingers make for bad typing

I'm so keen to get this music stuff happening! I really want to make good tunes with other Muso's! It has been so rad recently to get to play with Kate B and Amy V and Kat H! Kat has been writing some really nice piano bits to go with a couple of songs and I just love them! They give them a whole different vibe. I love that there can be so many different ways of playing one song.

Kate B signed me up for a open mic comp at the Blackstump Xn music fest in Sydney recently (thanks Kate :) ) She and Amy sung some real nice harmonies. It was ver-nice :) I wasn't feeling real confident but it was a really great experience.. I didn't realise before hand that it was going to be Australian Idol style - there were a couple of judges who.. er.. judged you in front of everybody after you played. The judges were really encouraging though, it was good.

Right now my little golden hooded rat is sitting in my cleavage poking her head out the top of my singlet (too much information? I don't care, it's cute!). Gosh I love her... She is so sweet.

So yep.. If anyone wants to make some music, let me know.

Han

Gin ginny Gin Gin gin Gin

Did I mention how cool my DSi is??

I went to McDonalds yesterday. I could stand in line and check my email (on the DSi and using Maccas free wifi) while waiting to order! Ahh it makes me happy :)

I want to write about how awesome Blackstump was this weekend.... But sooo tired. I will just do a short version.

Highlights included:

1. Making coffee! (Though last years coffee-making-partner Kylie was sorely missed!)
2. Seeing LOTS of people I know!
3. I saw 2 bands who had melodians! Yhey!
4. I got to perform in the Open Mic comp and got some good comments from the judges :D
5. Pete's Good Friday elective (which was music, poetry, stories etc) went well!
6. Listening to Mike Frost was good!
7. Seeing Sons of Korah was good too! My friend Kaity nearly had a heart attack she was so happy - She met them.


Ummmm..

Then we drove up here to Gin Gin straight after it had finished! We left Sydney about 12 mid day.. Arrived here 5:30 am Qld time! Annndd slept all day :)

Ok.. My cousins are having a go at me writing on my blog. Bye!

relocation

Well, the relocation was a success. I am almost entirely relocated. Half of my brain, a chunk of my heart and my two bookshelves are still in Coona.. But the rest of me and my stuff is now in Dubbo.

Today I have been unpacking my room.. Putting books into shelves, posters on to walls and unceremoniously stuffing my clothes into the wardrobes. It does feel slightly more like home after putting up the posters. The people in posters are like old friends to me. Wherever I am, they are too.. Smiling down at me from their blue tacked positions on my bedroom wall. They are waiting when I come home from work, watching me when I sleep, (when I dress?), when I am happy or sad. It's something of a comfort when I move to a new place and put them up. The space changes from just that - a space - into my room. With it's own people with their very own culture. I like it.

I like Jazz

I'm totally uninspired and out of energy to write something worth reading. So I will just do some random thoughts.

I'm lying on my bed after a long day at work listening to Jazz.. Very nice.

The till was $30 under today... Not nice. Depressing.

I am moving town in a little under two weeks. I don't know where yet.

I wish I could play the flute.

My brain has settled down somewhat from the last few months. Actually no it hasn't. My brain is as retarded as ever. Little bubbles of clarity are nice though.

God---- I don't understand you.

Oooh, my boss just rang and told me the till is actually not under.. It's all ok! Very nice.

I bought a BR-600 digital recording thing so I can finally do some O.k recordings of my songs at home.. But since I got it I haven't had the energy to actually do anything with it. But it's still very nice.

I went to Canberra and saw Laura. I also saw the Universities there. ANU is beautiful.. And they had a Jazz band playing at the Open Day.. So points to them from me.

The thought of actually doing the application for UNI is thoroughly overwhelming. I wish I had someone I could just give money to to help me figure it all out.

That will be all

Han

Home again jiggidy.. whatever

This is my second blog post via the DSI. This time i am doing it using some sort of tool that recognises my handwriting. l dont Know if it is faster than operating the tiny little touch-screem keyooard that is my other option, but it is certainly something. It seems to hate the letters 't' and 'h'. here is a senxance wirh no editing wna+soeuor. For those playing at home that was supposed to say `here is a sentance with no editing whatsoever.`

Ah well, i`m tired. Goodnight.